A hilarious tale
by Ken Branagh
Summary: Kat and Patrick got married and divorced three times and have decided to get married AGAIN. This story is front page on the press but will they really go through with it? A hilarious tale about Kat and Patrick


Kat and Patrick had been married and divorced 3 times already. The first time, Kat didn't want children, the second time, Patrick walked out on Kat and the third time, and Kat had an affair with Joey. Well last month, Kat and Patrick got married for the fourth time. They decided that they had worked at their differences. Now Kat was pregnant with Patrick's baby and she did want the child. Patrick said that he was a mess and shouldn't have walked out on Kat. Joey drugged Kat into sleeping with him so that wasn't her fault. "A run of bad luck" according to Bianca. Of course as you can imagine, Mr Stratford was furious and if you look at the four wedding photos, in each, his hair has thinned even more (he says its stress that Kat and Patrick are putting him through) Well this story starts from when Kat tells her dad that she's getting married for the fourth time.  
  
Kat walked in through the front door and Bianca started shouting at her.  
  
"Kat!! This is my favourite sweater and you've got stains all over it. It's my channel!" Bianca ran upstairs utterly frustrated. Kat hugged her dad and sat on the sofa.  
  
"Hi honey, how was work?" Mr Stratford flicked through the newspaper. (Kat works at the fish and chip shop)  
  
"Oh it was great daddy, I learned how to batter a fish." "Sounds great honey!"  
  
Mr Stratford stops at a page in the newspaper and screams. He looks angrily at Kat and then turns on the 6o'clock news. There it was sure enough on the screen, three of Kat and Patrick's previous wedding photos and a reporter was saying:  
  
Our local lovers, Kat Stratford and Patrick Verona have decided to tie the knot for the fourth time. It happened last night when Patrick said that he could not live without Kat and that he didn't want their child to be a bastard!  
  
Kat looked horrified, stood up and backed up.  
  
"Daddy, before you lose your temper, I don't know how that got on the news and that's what I came here for, to tell you that.Patrick and I are getting married again."  
  
Mr Stratford looked furious and slowly edged towards Kat when Bianca ran downstairs.  
  
"Oh my god! Kat, you and Patrick are on the news. I didn't know you were pregnant, I just thought you got fat!"  
  
There was a knock on the door and Kat opened it. It was Patrick and before Kat had a chance to say, run and hide, he stepped in, holding Kat and firmly planting a kiss on her lips. Steam was spraying out of Mr Stratford's ears. He picked up a baseball bat and started swinging it towards Patrick's head. Patrick was running around the room, ducking every 5 seconds to miss a swing from the bat while Kat and Bianca were screaming. Vases broke, the chandelier broke, the table had been toppled over, the front door had a big dent in it and then Patrick was on the floor with Mr Stratford standing above him, looking menacing. Kat stepped in front of her father and slapped him right across his face.  
  
Kat began to speak. "You won't give us a chance to explain? You start chasing my fiancé like a crazy person. I don't even know who you are anymore. Why are you trying to hit him? He hasn't done anything to you!"  
  
"He's made your life a misery and he got you pregnant. That is my problem."  
  
Okay so let's fast forward. There is a big argument at which the end, Mr Stratford warns Patrick to make his daughter happy or there would be a war. Kat and Patrick move back into their old house and let's stop fast forwarding here and lets play!  
  
"I'm glad to be here again. This really is home."  
  
Patrick grabbed Kat around the middle and laid her on the sofa. They just stared at each other for a few moments and then Kat pulled at his collar and kissed him.  
  
"You're going to make me happy for the rest of my life aren't you Patrick?" "I'll take a vow. I know everyone thinks that we're just a joke, but we'll prove to them that we're serious. We'll be a family. Me, you and our baby."  
  
Kat smiled and started playing with Patrick's hair. He kissed her and then helped her up. He then said, "Bianca phoned before, said something about Cameron, I don't know, she wanted you, she was crying."  
  
Kat phoned Bianca and Patrick went for a shower.  
  
"Bianca, are you okay? Patrick said you phoned before." "Yeah!" Bianca was sobbing "Cameron broke up with me." "Oh I'm so sorry Bi. Do you want to come over, I have your favourite fruit flan in the fridge and we can pig out."  
  
Kat put the phone down and Bianca came over. Kat hugged her and they talked for a while.  
  
"Kat, do you have a tissue?" "Oh," Kat rummaged around. "I can't find anything in all these boxes" (they hadn't unpacked yet) "There should be some in the bathroom."  
  
Bianca walked up the stairs and opened the bathroom door and Patrick grabbed her and then he and Bianca both screamed. (He did have a towel on!)  
  
"Bianca!! I'm so sorry, I thought you were." "Yeah! Oh my god, I'm sorry. I just came for a tissue."  
  
Bianca started walking backwards toward the door, her foot got caught on the rug and she fell on Patrick and his towel fell off.  
  
Kat walked in, found Bianca lying on a naked Patrick. Kat couldn't stop laughing. Patrick jumped up and put the towel back on.  
  
Kat was still laughing "Oh Bi.this is not the way to get your own back on Cameron."  
  
Well for the next few days, Bianca and Patrick were very tense around each other and obviously by accident, Bianca kept making mistakes when Patrick was around like saying:  
  
"You can borrow my black dress Kat, or the blue one, take your dick.uh! Pick I meant pick.not dick."  
  
And  
  
"When you were out, Uncle Willy phoned.uh!... I meant uncle Billy." Obvious tension and this made Patrick uncomfortable. Well things were to get a whole lot worse. Mr Stratford invited Patrick and Kat to stay the night and Kat decided to have an early night. Patrick decided to come up to bed afterwards.  
  
It was dark and Patrick didn't want to wake anyone. He opened the bedroom door and crept into bed with Kat. Kat was asleep and he whispered. "Kat? Are you awake? I guess you aren't. I won't disturb you then. Ooh it's hot, do you mind if I just sleep in my boxers?"  
  
Well you thought a banshee screamed loud, well Patrick and Mr Stratford were both louder then a banshee when Mr Stratford woke up with a half naked Patrick sleeping with his arms around him. Again, Kat couldn't stop laughing and there was more tension. Bianca also found this very funny but Kat could tell she was still upset. Kat decided to go round to Cameron's house.  
  
"Hey Cameron." "Oh hey Kat, come on in."  
  
They talked for a while.  
  
"I broke up with Bianca because she wasn't ready and I couldn't stay in our position." "Ready? Ready for what?" "I could see that we didn't have a future. I want to marry her Kat but I feel that she wants to stay this way forever. I can't do that." "Have you talked to her about it?" "No"  
  
Blah blah blah. Anyway, Kat and Cameron set a double date. And let's fast forward to the dating! So they're sitting at a table in a posh nosh restaurant.  
  
"This is a really nice restaurant Patrick, how did you find it?" Bianca was smiling. "uh.phone directory" "oh!." Bianca looked confused. So they have dinner and whatever and then comes the juicy!  
  
"Bianca, will you marry me?" "yes" Bianca was so shocked. She grabbed Cameron and kissed him. She then grabbed Kat and almost grabbed Patrick but before doing that, she snapped out of the shock and remembered the towel incident.  
  
Yep altogether a very special night! They all go back to Kat and Patrick's house and have a romantic evening, pigging out in front of the telly, watching a horror movie that was extremely scary and Cameron and Patrick were holding on to each other out of sheer terror while the girls were just laughing. Anyway fast forwarding again to the wedding now! They decided to have a double wedding.  
  
Cameron - "I do" Bianca - "I do" Kat - "I do" Patrick - "I do"  
  
That was much of the boring part! The after wedding party was funny. Mr Stratford decided to share a few words about the new couple, Kat and Patrick, in front of all the press.  
  
"What is so special about Patrick? That's what I always used to think after Kat's third divorce. She obviously doesn't know what she wants but Patrick does! Last week, he was in the bathroom naked with my daughter Bianca!  
  
  
  
"And to make it worse, he got into bed with me, half naked hoping for some nookie no doubt!"  
  
Well Kat clicked her fingers and the waiters bought out the big wedding cake and smacked it onto Mr Stratford's face.  
  
Ah, the honeymoon. Well I dunno if I should write a story about that! That's like a completely different story so it does without saying, this is the END.of this story. 


End file.
